Oh! Closer

it’s raining out side. that cigarettes and music are the only pleasures i have. such a cynical  way to view my situation. how shall i improve this. stand up to mum and do not let her walk all over me. i have being and sometimes it erupts into a fight. do not show mum too much of yourself. be secretive and hold your personal belongings close do not let anyone touch them. put things in order and be your self. go to gigs ant emerge yourself in the art world. go to every free gig possible and buy new clothes every week. do not let your guard down make sure you always feel sexy. never stop trying to be the best you can be and do not take note of other peoples criticisms. especially of those who clearly do not have the same ideologies as you. do not live life by the book because the book has such a narrow perception of what is normal. never stop loving yourself and the moment you do kill your self. life is not worth living if you cease to discover. cease to amaze others and become ugly. isolate yourself from those who have a detrimental effect on our true being. take note of others faults and use them within reason.  hiss at fascists and assert yourself. Always wonder and wander. Observe and put yourself in their position. Write Leah, write Leah, write Leah and do not stop ever. even when you cease to exist and your fingers are numb and bleeding. if things seem to turn to stone wait things out, be patient. Read Leah, read Leah, Read Leah never stop reading. read under the nights sky. read in the water then destroy the book. it’s fundamental to believe in the second coming. try to test out with communication. test it out and blame the other. when the hawks start to circle the pieces start to crumble unless we grow and strengthen our communication. here are the young men at your feet. i feel a sense of accomplishment. prey on their venerability life in just a game and you are winning. hold yourself tight and have conversations of fantasies but only with yourself. you choose to be here right now. get a hold of yourself and this experience and remind yourself you are not alone. the eternal being is always with you. pixie bell blair is always with you. it’s no illusion.