St. Petersburg

Fade Into You - Mazzy Star

It's messy. It's getting old.

In awareness comes the new found glory of it all. run run run, slowly... turn the corner and stop. Watch the others controlled by other qualities. Kiss turn, kiss just miss. kick dust. however, it’s always more than just kicking dust. Don’t hold frame. wine. red wine. kneel. lean back, arch your back. You feet leave the ground. Hold frame. then, swallow. move to reach, you can’t quite reach. attempt to make it. When the hands around your neck grip tighter. breath. Velvet and mud lie idle. It’s black here. in here. cold and warm. Flashes of light flicker through. Thoughts of the old days. Leah! please try to avoid the taxi club. it's getting old.  It’s often hard. Wait, move forward. Don’t hold frame. 

Gravity

I entered the old and broken however beautiful building and it filled me with wonder. Refer to the pictures below... It was a strange day followed by a strange night. On reflection, it's quite something when you experience new things all together. Like gravity just quietly took my hand and led me where to go. There was a period over the course of the weekend which lasted about one hour where I thought, well I ventured here alone, am I going to leave alone? Then, gravity quietly took my hand again and led me to beauty. I could go into to detail however, I would just feel like somewhat of a nonce. Although, I will say this; I did meet hair metal John. He was a bit of a laugh. Very rock esque, he had dropped acid and was drinking vodka straight from the bottle. I sat there and wondered how much longer he will be able to last. Then, an hour had passed and I saw him again at a gig. Then, another had passed and I saw him surround by his friends laughing and just generally being joyous. Honestly, I don't know how some people manage it. I mean, if it were me,  there is no way I could face four hundred people while on LSD. But then again, normally I like to be quiet. Which makes me wonder what a typical night for him would be. If I am to cross paths with him again I shall ask. However, that's provided he is coherent enough to say a sentence. 

Gravity

Momentary lapse of I don't know what the fuck. 

Clockwork Again - For Whatever Reason

I found it lying there next to my tired bed. 

Amongst the dirty clothes, old booze and pictures of broken things like you and I. 

It must have fallen from my pocket, 

Having been placed there at the moment of sleep. 

The clockwork again. 

But this little thing, sort of dirty, lies there, 

Ready,... almost asking to be forgotten. 

Its frail and a little faded, bleeding out its colours. 

Sad, kind of,... but not morose or regretted, 

We are just taught to put these things behind us. 

There seems no real significance to it, 

No meaning to suggest a deserved reverence, 

No demand for respect or benevolence, 

It doesn't even inspire the desire to keep it somewhere safe. 

No it's like the others I've found and placed in the recycle bin 

To be taken where it won’t exist anymore. 

Waste Management. 

Yesterdays are like that, their value is rarely known until they line up in a group and you find that they were the most important things you've ever thrown away.

11:44

Because, I don't know...

 

Today I Sought Refuge in Mother Natures Bosom

The state of TAFE - Double Hit

It's that time of the year again when I find myself

 sitting in the library eating sandwiches and

drinking energy drinks for hours on end.

 Then, as time goes by I come to realise that

 I have been here for too long and my mind

 

starts to wander. Hence me updating my blog

 while sitting in the library drinking energy drinks, 

double hit energy drinks no less. Then I think to myself,

 this is as much as I'm going to get done today. Even though documents are open

and I glance over them I just keeping think about heading home and watching 

some mindless television for a while then, perhaps I'll sit out in my

 ALTERNATIVE space, sip wine and dabble. Which makes me happy 

however, I'm even happier knowing that I have put a full days work into 

trying  to knock off some school work. Which, will all be over in a few weeks. 

Then... Possibly the best summer yet?  

On discovering news ways of being.

On recent occasions I have had frequent reminders about where my mind use to be at? Is at? Discovering new complexities with each new person I meet. Discovering new ways of being. Full frontal embarrassment soon follows through. If an awkward moment had the power to change one I think I would be Paris Hilton by now, in the sense of being so far removed from my initial self. I am left wondering... Thinking... Sometimes it is harder to overcome the embarrassment, sometimes it is quite easy. Like many things it varies, depending on how great a moment it was. I often find myself in moments of movement I often do not know how to react to. What would be ideal is if we were all able to never experience such situations. However, it begs the question; without such situations would I be far removed from initial self? One could go forth and take note and not dwell. It is hard however, I do often think I am not likely to care in due course. 

Dig it yo!

So... Nick names when growing up; 

Totie (when living in Waterloo I was the smallest kid around the traps)

Super sonic radar ears (apparently I  have big ears)

Leah lesbian legs (apparently I have nice legs, nice enough for the girls to turn gay for)

Wet blanket (I was the worst net-baller on our team, I pretty much let everyone down)

Leah wee-er (it rhymed) 

Sweet Fuck All

Oh boy, so... If I learnt anything over the weekend; it is to never enter a fast food establishment at 4 am on a Saturday morning. 

Drinking tea, minding my own business and BAM! Holy fuck! What the hell is your problem? 

Oh nothing, except for some reason or another I feel like I have some divine right to shock and make you up set. 

Why on earth would one do that? I don’t believe just anyone could get drunk enough to feel such a way. 

Eh, post statement I’ll get to view myself at 4 am, drinking tea and being abused. I wonder what KMWD? 

My friend likened been hit to playing football. However, in this game of fist-a-cuffs no one's a winner. 

Sometimes...

Dank

Fall Fall Two Times

If this works, it shall work well. Sometimes I feel junted. Like a sea-saw in the wind. Even if the sea-saw wanted to stop swaying to and fro, it is unable. Once I walked through a green park in the rain and I attempted to lock hands with a fellow Dark Horse, but I was unable. Glock; even after that much sought after shower. Tick, tick, it’s a time bomb, so lets run. To squeeze the universe into a ball and thereby, fall. Tonight, one could fall through to an earthly hell. 

It's all Shambolic

It did deserve much thought, like a night with you. 

So, I say goodnight.

Thought provoked by much feeling on show and shared. 

It shall continue for at least one night. 

Not to say that it will not be present in the back lots of mediocrity.

I’m young, yes, are you feeling okay? 

I often wonder about life and how I should go about it. 

I guess most people do. 

Other men huh? Well, one could argue; what on earth are you talking about? 

Bang! Like it was nothing, nothing of importance, held no meaning. 

Much like power, I mean people question it everyday, do they not? 

Nothing of relevance to you my love. 

I would let you go. 

However, the act of just letting you be is far more easier. 

People often yell, people often scream, some call. 

MediLife

singular entry

Okay, okay, I know I've been slack in terms of my writing of late. I’m not entirely sure why, but I guess it’s because I have had things going on. While I am on holidays at the moment, my sister visited me for a week during the first half. Early into the second half I have no real excuse except for shear laziness, hence this, somewhat, mundane entry. Thought’s that have occupied my mind of late include, home life, the country (nothing new there), a boy and my work. To elaborate on that, a few things are in the works. I’ve started work on a story about two boys a girl heroin and the church, which hasn’t really taken off as of yet. More planning needs to go into it. Plus, I wanted to play my hand at been able to manipulate my dreams. You know, read up on a certain subject before drifting off to sleep at night and seeing how much of that translates to my subconscious state... Like I said, it’s a work in progress. Erm, I have pretty much given up on my ‘plane crash in China’ story. I haven’t looked at that for a while and it is something that just doesn’t grab me anymore. I guess I’m just over thinking about it. So the story goes with many things... However, there are still things on my mind that I feel, at times, pollute my mind. I don’t want it to sound as if I can just turn on and switch off whatever thoughts appeal to me most at the time; because I can’t. 

NEW

I cried last week. It had been building for a while. oh, and another thing; ‘note to self; don’t watch truly heart felt documentaries about sick kids before attempting to sleep. Seriously, that was fucked!’. I haven’t cried in far too long and it came at a time, less than a week after a friend and I had discussed how, the feeling of not being able to cry when wanting to, almost like an inability, at times, is just as bad. So, yep, I cried. It was about four AM and I was feeling somewhat disjointed. I cried over many different things, then fell asleep. Woke up and had a huge breakfast. Very cleansing, a good cry is, yes...

There are cats outide my window and I’m tired. Must rest, tomorrow I plan on organising my things, namely putting my room in order before I head back to class next week. Well, that and it’s nearly five AM and well, it’s just something I feel I should attempt before the sun rises. 

Goodnight

Over and Out

merry-go-round

You have always thinking of her 
You're in love and you don't know what to say 
But I saw her at the fair and she feels the same way 
She was married by the merry-go-round 

The merry-go-round 
How merrily we go round 
How merrily we go round 
The merry-go-round 

He was the first one of the day 
He was the last one of the night 
Oh hold me tight, hold me tight 
They said you were wrongened 
But I can see in your eyes 
How you are gentle and wise 
And you had the good stuff 
Oh there's a parade of girls outside 
That boy's so shy 
Why'd you punch out his lights? 

He was the first one of the day 
He was the last one of the night 
Oh mop it up, she'll be alright 
Mop it up, she'll be alright 
There's a parade on the hall outside 
Come on and feel the air outside 

 - Pete Doherty

When shit collides and all you have is shooting stars

Our sister’s of Mount Carmel attempted to conform... someone. I’ve have recently put a bit of thought into the Catholic Church and what it has meant for me personally. Also, the ones around me who have been brought up in a Catholic family. I guess, like many things, it’s something that varies, depending on how religious your own family was. Mine for one, IS quite catholic, and when I say ‘my family’ I mean my mother and my grandmother, which, I guess, have had a large influence on my upbringing. Fuck It.. I’m not going to finnish this thought because, at times, it’s makes me mad! 

Once more with feeling

We are all steadfast voyeurs, bound by the simplicity of it all. 

Hold frame, no bounce qualities.

Perch, preach, sing! Laugh a little, light a cigarette, you have one.

Dance, no bounce qualities. 

Such is the scope of things. 

Once fallen, light that cigarette.

Sinister thoughts, and strangers say, oh how wonderful.

Once more with feeling; no fucking bounce qualities. 

It's a work in progress...

Recently I read an essay written by a woman who wrote about what it was like for her to be young in a city she had recently moved to. It was like reading a journal entry that spanned eight years but was summed up in roughly three thousand words. It made me think of my own journal writing and consider writing something similar to her own in the sense of trying to capture what being a young person has meant for me these past years. Which made me wonder whether this lady writer had just sat down and tried to sum it up there and then, in front of her typewriter? Or, had she read over old journals to try and renew her memory of situations and feelings worthy of been written in her brief however informative piece of writing. Then I came to realise not matter how she went about it, that is not the point at all. The fact that she was able to express herself in such a way was the key to writing a good even brilliant piece. Plus, our writing would be different because hers was a reflection rather than a a sequence of events unfolding as she wrote. I know I want to write a reflection as well, however, to run with her idea of been a young person living in a large city I thought well this is something that is unfolding around me, even at this moment as I write this. So, in a sense our writing shall be similar although different. It’s a piece that many have argued over who relates to it. While she was a young, middle-class, white women I still feel that there are aspects to her thoughts and feelings she describes that many people, not just young, middle class white women can relate to. In recent times I’ve largely strayed away from noting what takes place in my life on a daily basis or even over the weekends. Which is something I wish I hadn’t, so, starting from now I’m going to make a valid attempt to rectify this. 

Insomnia Personified

Time seems to slow down

Thoughts are what keep you awake at night

Slower than love fading 

Consciously I’m awake and numb

Subconsciously I am blank and still sleeping

Numbers hold frame like weathered windows

The house is breathing but not alive

Eleven bells chime as night falls

The whispering of the hedge snickers 

As the girl has a glimpse of eye contact 

With no one but her own reflection 

Setting the Scene

Ye Old Stoner Stories

I just realised I have a lot of ‘Stoner Stories’... I don’t even smoke weed anymore... I use to, so I guess the stories I have are old. Once (up north) I walked through the school gates with a lit joint in my hand. I was always testing the boundaries in the later days of attending Murwillumbah High School. There came a point where there was no need to collect a uniform pass anymore. The teachers came to realise they should just me be and they did. There were a few of us around the traps and it all work well, for all of us, including the teachers. I remember walking into one teachers office when having to sign-off, soon to be attending another school, an all girls catholic school in Sydney no less. The teacher said to me; ‘Leah, you are going to have to start wearing a school uniform’. I said; yeah, I guess I will. If I thought that would be the worst of my problems when entering a new high school I was sorely mistaken. 

Idea for Film...

Idea for Film...

Nude on a sofa quoting fragments of Deleuze you’d underlined sometime before you met her. 

Things to consider...

- When to pronounce voice

- Position of the nude on the sofa

- Which fragments? 

- Would one cry?

- Would one laugh? 

- Cigarette’s in the picture and or drink and or little wooden table to which one can place said items. If so, which brand of cigarette’s, Kent’s? 

Personally...

I’m not sure if I would want to watch it...

Your Majesty

Much talk about an 800 year old tree of late. 

I climbed the majestic tree with fellow fairies Amber and Debrah. Amber owns the tree, which is a statement that is not entirely true. You know, there’s the case of mother nature and, well, you can’t really put a name tag on that. I smoked a joint and it was sort of funny because I said; ‘oh no, there’s too much beauty surrounding me’ which is a strange statement to make. I mean, is that actually possible? I was so stoned, then I started to play classical music on the radio. Good old ABC classic FM, unbelievable coverage. 

Went back to ‘the stoney’, gather a blanket and lied on a rock in the sun by the creek. Then, started to have those thoughts about nothing except focusing on how I felt and thought, acid, booze and weed made for a good night but it is not something that can be done frequently. For many reasons, however I was on holidays, so it wasn’t as if I was stressed about the thought of it at all. Then I let go of all of that and started to think about how comfortable with myself I felt. Which, was due to a number of things but namely, the fact that I was on the North Coast. Then, someone called my name, it was Dinda, she said it was time to leave. 

I was left wondering when I’ll be back or when I will ever feel this way again. 

I'm currently writing a story about a girl, two boys, heroin and the church...

 It's semi serious. 

Leah loves to expel

Much talk about nothing of relevance to anyone except myself. 

On Being A Real Person

     - As noted in The Readers Digest 

It can be said that frustrated, unhappy people, who cannot match themselves with life, constitute the greatest single tragedy in the world. In mansion and hovel, among the uneducated and in university faculties, under every kind of circumstance people entrusted with building their own personalities are making a mess of it, thereby plunging into an earthly hell.  

One bad night and I’m reasoning the situation. I feel bad inside, but, these are all trivial things, one must not look too deep and dwell. Why God, you dispose of all things, please don’t dispose of this. I really do value it, even if at times I tend to be lacking... something. 

What’s in store for me in the direction I ‘don’t’ take?         

 Act a little bit foolish and better idea’s will come.

Been compelled or seduced to trust something or someone not ourselves because we believe that the rewards of exposure justify the risk. 

WILL SELF

Philosophy - Dial 1 for assistance. 

There comes a time when we all obsess over a photo of ourselves. 

No bounce qualities. 

Sitting in her house I have forgotten her name, Julian is playing guitar and I am indeed quite hungover. TOAST! 

Leah is creative and uncertain. 

La Productive Series 

Locks

2 - 3 - 11 - 14 - 17 - 21 - 36 - 44

I really like the thought of a lucky dip 

Emptied

So I fucking read 

and I fucking read and I fucking read. Longer, Deeper and darker than ever before. Oh Christ, you dispose of all things. You choose who live and who dies. Feeling of the territory, the hugger he lies. 

Then I think to myself, well, I might as well smoke a cigarette, possibly may cry. 

________________________________________________________________________

On the doorstep, night looking right, he might say; I was dandering by he says, I, I might as well call. 

                                                                                                 Seamus Heany 

On day it possibly will be blown away by beauty. 

Just Ice Cold Irony 

Contextualisation 

Idiosyncratic enjoyment 

peculiar or individual enjoyment 

He called, I spoke, we both laughed. Inside this weeks mindset, you just move like you do. The revolution is off the agenda. It may gather dust, but shall remain prominent in the internal mind set. 

Tired but too early to sleep. What’s a girl to do? 

                     Light a candle and smoke a cigarette. 

I did indeed light a cigarette 

stare at the candle flame too long 

And I’m sure to be blinded by the light

Procrastination of the nation central. My imagination seems to be failing me at the moment. I don’t know what to write. I don’t know what to write. 

Lied for the Go GO

I am tired, probably should go to bed. However, listening to the church and smoking cigarettes is so good.  

He bought me a red corvette (cocktail) 

Oh how wonderful

We kissed and smiled 

Night looking right we retreated

I smoked a cigarette

While perched up on the window seal 

Oh how wonderful

We drank whisky and lied for the go go 

GET

LUCKY

HAVE

FUN! 

forever the discoverer?

Oh, so, forever the discoverer? 

Yes, Leah it worked in your favour. 

Plus you got to use your beloved term; 

‘Only because your perception of normal is so narrow’

Last night someone said I was ‘mad and alternative’

Like it was a bad thing 

I said ‘HA!’ 

I was thinking all this talk is pathetic and trivial

Holy smokes! 

I was never like that when I was eighteen 

Which, was only two years ago

Knowing better holds such great, fulfilling power

I wonder what a rock’n’roll / punk kid would have said 

I wonder how Ethan would have reacted 

I think he would of said something ultra clever then said

‘fuck you’ 

Then walked on by  

concept of difference

concept of difference 

Concept of difference 

It is a real system of differential relations that creates actual spaces, times and sensations. 

Trivett Classic - London Calling

Unmistakable beauty

Dear Ingrid... 

So.. Where do I begin? At the beginning right, right, right? 

I’ve just come back from a three week break up north. To sum it up in one word or even three is really hard, but I’ll make a valid attempt.. Open.. Huh? Open right? Well, there were a lot of open spaces, open roads, it opened my mind and eyes to new things and 

I feel more open. Especially on returning to Sydney.  The North Coast has this amazing power to crumble any anxiety that I have about myself. Not entirely, however somewhat. There my people there, I gain a real sense of belonging every time I go there. You know, I have a history there and I guess it’s natural to feel that way. Even so, I romanticize with the notion that everyone there are one big family. A big HAPPY family, like we are all in this thing called life together. Once back in Sydney I went to see my phycologist to chat with her about my path and whether I should think about moving back there if I felt that strongly about the place. In the end we came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be a good idea for me just yet. Maybe at some point in the future, but she feels I wouldn’t be challenged enough. Most likely end up being the poster girl for the drug culture that exists there. She went on to explain that, while being one big happy family has it’s pros there are definite con’s too. Like, while everyone is on the same level there, in Sydney I know people from all walks of life and all are at different stages in their lives. This adds to my life experience and knowledge of life as well and challenging my mind. Sorry, a bit of a rant about my feelings about the prospect of moving back to the North Coast. I mean I’m not really it out for ever, I guess just until I have developed in the many facets of my life. 

Now, lets get into some juicy tales. I dropped acid on the Hamlet the first night I was there. One of the most splendid nights of my life. My friends Deb and Drew own a property up on a hill and when you look out over the ranges you see Mt. Warning while looking east. It looks rather different. I lit a cigarette while taking in the view. Then, I swung on a swing that swung out over a valley. I was soaring the sky, until, I felt a sudden rush of butterflies in my stomach with what can only be described as idiosyncratic enjoyment. A rush of blood to the head, how wonderful. Tales of ones own philosophy were shared that night and love was free. Pretty hippy huh? Yes.. 

The next day I went to and chilled out at my friends place in Coolangatta.I was left with conflicting idea’s about what I should make of the night before. Should I put thought into it?  Or, maybe it does not require much thought at all. I opted for the later of the two. However, I did conclude that I had never being higher.. EVER! I slept, went for a walk on the beach and made dinner for my friends that night. [those burritos] yep! Those ones. It has become my signature dish. Thank you for showing me how to make it. 

That weekend ventured down to Murwillumbah around midday. Meet up with friends and we went driving from one place to another. I forgot how many kilometers you can clock up when driving around those parts. It was wonderful. I sat and stared out the window for hours. So green, so lush, so much space!

Oh man, I’ve being playing the same Elliott Smith album for four hours now. Switched to Coldplay. I recently got a compilation CD off a friend and I’ve really gotten into them. Then.. roll a cigarette. Oh yes, discovered how good rollies are about two months ago and there is no turning back now. 

One night I went to a party in ‘The Pocket’ it was a night full of wonder and well, you know all those magical things typical of the North Coast. I sat by the fire for hours and hours. Was introduced to Algernon aka Positive Thought and painted on one man’s plastered leg. Also, that night, while standing by the larger of two fires near the D floor aka dance floor I heard someone calling my name. It was Darcy! I’m not sure whether or not i’ve told you about him. Anyway, to be brief, I met Darcy at Woodford the first night I was there. We Shared the most amazing night together, dancing and sitting on a hill chatting and drinking chai. Then, ran into each other on a dirt road while traveling to the Mardi GraSS and then again at the party in ‘The Pocket’. Turns out he lives in the pocket and we have mutual friends. We both talked about how weird  it is to run into each other in strange places. Asking each other tough questions about theology and philosophy. Turns out, kids from Byron REally know how to cut the bullshit and get straight to the point. Not my only experience chatting to Byron kinds about theology and philosophy on my travels. Maybe the fact that we were indeed stoned may of played a part too. 

I went quad biking on my friends property in Stokers Siding at night too. Cold, but well worth it. So much fun! 

Went to a party in Coorabell, just down the road from the hall with the most amazing view of the Tweed and Byron coast lines. Once again, found myself chatting with others by the fire. It was pretty cold at night while in the bush.  Went driving with Algernon and Yarren (another new found friend) to Federal up past the Crystal Castle, through forests of green and spectacular views. 

The food, oh boy the food. Loads of fresh produce. Went to Uki Markets one Sunday and bought a couple of rings and incense. 

Back at Ellies peace was in the air. Largely spent my time sitting in the garden drinking cups of tea and listening to Pink Floyd on repeat. My favourite song is ‘Us and Them’.

Played with Ella and Asha a bunch, Jake and Rhys were away with Andrew and Co. for a month traveling the coast of Queensland in a camper van. Sounds nice, huh?! Ellie is really well, as is Winter Rune. Rode a trike down her hill a bunch of times until I ran into a fence ( it had no brakes ) and banged up my knee. Not too bad, but I got a pretty decent bruise. Sam enjoyed gardening and lighting fires at night. One night we lit a fire in the garden and BBQ kebabs. Free range chicken kebabs. Yummy! Gus enjoyed spending time alone in the hut up the back of the garden. It was fine by everyone. Went driving in the hippie bus around Stokers Siding and Uki. Oh! one day we went out to Couchie Creek out past Chillingham up into the forest. We collected a fair bit of ‘wait awhile’ ( a vine ) to make plenty of dream catchers. Went looking for crystals, I picked up a few good rocks that day. Had a crrafternoon and all. It was brilliant. Mum made a few REALLY good cakes and once I woke only to eat cake then return to slumber. Sam later points out that I looked like I was sleep walking and eating. I wasn’t, I kind of remember it. HA! We both think it’s quite funny. 

Saw plenty of people from high school. Saw trolley man, he has ditched the trolley and opted for a three wheeled bicycle. It’s a sight to behold, it’s red too. It’s hilarious and intriguing all at the same time. 

Spent a day out at ‘The Stone House’ which, if you’re unfamiliar with it, is a hippie hut Michael and fellow trippers of the day built back in the seventies. The Creek literally flows at the back door! My friends Lee and Randall live there with their mum. Their father has passed away. I spoke at length with their mum Kerry about what life was like back in the day and what Michael was like. MMmmmm, interesting stuff. While I was out there, drove around Cedar Creek and the Hamlet ( it’s inspired me to get my license, which I’m going for on Friday ). We had a party there that night. The next morning, climbed an 800 year old tree deep in the rainforest. It was the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen. It was so big, so grand and I became entranced by the shear wonder of it all.

 

As I sit here in my room back in Sydney I really miss the place. I’ve never loved it more than I do right now. I miss the beauty and sense of belonging. One day, there will be no need to miss it anymore. 

I hope you are safe on your travels. 

Much Love 

Leah xx

P.S. you will be pleased to hear that I have gone vego too. I feel better already. It’s rather amazing! 

-- 
Alias

The morning after girl. 

I held his hand as we rode the train together. Soon to be departing ways after spending the night making love and cuddling with few awkward moments. I lent back into my seat, slumped a little and closed my eyes. “ I don’t know why I’m closing my eyes, I’m not tired, It’s just what I tend to do when i ride the train”. He gave my hand a little squeeze and we both sat in silence. 

The morning after girl. 

I held his hand as we rode the train together. Soon to be departing ways after spending the night making love and cuddling with few awkward moments. I lent back into my seat, slumped a little and closed my eyes. “ I don’t know why I’m closing my eyes, I’m not tired, It’s just what I tend to do when i ride the train”. He gave my hand a little squeeze and we both sat in silence. 

The morning after girl. 

I held his hand as we rode the train together. Soon to be departing ways after spending the night making love and cuddling with few awkward moments. I lent back into my seat, slumped a little and closed my eyes. “ I don’t know why I’m closing my eyes, I’m not tired, It’s just what I tend to do when i ride the train”. He gave my hand a little squeeze and we both sat in silence. 

ON RETURNING TO THE CITY

Over heard at the Cricketers Arms Hotel, Surry Hills

BEER GARDEN

“Yeah, well, when you fucking see Adam, that fucking cunt, tell him to give my fucking ipod back!”

...........................................................................................................................................................

Not just you.

I don’t particularly want to walk around with you. 

Holidays

Sleeping-in and whack dreams as well as chilled wine play a major part while holidaying. Also, one must be mindful of the task at hand on returning home. However, not too much  thought is required, just somewhat of a vague IDEA, Idea, IDEA, idea. You’re running on cocaine. Running around my brain. 

Holidays

Sleeping-in and whack dreams as well as chilled wine play a major part while holidaying. Also, one must be mindful of the task at hand on returning home. However, not too much  thought is required, just somewhat of a vague IDEA, Idea, IDEA, idea. You’re running on cocaine. Running around my brain. 

Series Four

DrearyDays

One of intrigue

What's love got to do with it?

If I were able to love him, I would be able to say it. 

On feeling included while been at Woodford

You can be a weirdo and not feel strange about it. 

Taking Sides

Typically I sleep on the right hand side of my bed. If I sleep just off centre on the left I tend to have strange dreams. 

Someone called for alliteration.

Dressed up buckets of embellished bollocks. 

On turning 21

By then I would of realised i've been smoking too long. 

Darcy

Fate

What is fate? How is fate measured? Who determines what counts as fate?

fate |fāt|

noun

1 the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power

A couple of weeks ago I think i had a brush with fate. Over the Christmas/NYE period I went to a festival. The first night i was there was somewhat of a sensory overload for me. A night full of lights, sounds colour and to put simply a brilliant atmosphere. I ventured out into the night with myself and the other 130 000 other Woodford revilers. I was on such a high it was almost like i could touch the sky (in a metaphorical sense). I danced and drank the night away. When dancing in the Murrie tent I met Darcy (who was also venturing out by himself). We danced and laughed, then decided that this feeling would be even more substantiated if we were to take XTC. We did. We then left the festival grounds and went back to my camp (which was on a hill). We drank while high, sang and chatted for hours, until the sun rose (which was all quite beautiful). We exchanged numbers in the hope that we would be able to meet again while at Woodford. We didn’t due to logistical reasons. 

A couple of weeks ago I received a text message from Darcy. Which at the time was the last person I thought I would receive a text message from. He gave me his email and that was that. 

No less than three days later I was traveling along a dirt road in the hope that i was going in the right direction to a doof just outside Kyogle. While on the way there were two people walking along the road and i stopped to pick them up. not much was said except small talk. Something along the line of where are you from? Are you sure we are going in the right direction? Then one of the two said; Leah? I looked over and I said; Darcy? I was left speechless, thinking about all that had happened at Woodford and how bazaar it was to see him no less then three days after he sent me a message after four months of no contact. 

I lost Darcy again that night to the mayhem of the doof. I wish we could have shared a night just like Woodford again.