A fucking contradiction

Diet ads telling us we can lose weight without dieting. Thats a contradiction in it’s self. Someone alert the authorities. You know how they say you only notice these things because you have some sort of subconscious mind to seek them out. Well, I assure you I don’t. Well, at least I don’t think I do. I have never been on a diet. Um for a little while I was only smoking cigarettes drinking wine, coffee. I became very dehydrated fast and I lost weight. No seriously, it taught me many things. Like, drinking a bottle of wine on an empty stomach gets me trashed and if I want to fit into size six jeans again I'll have to resume to my old ways.